April 4th has been a difficult day to get through for the past few years. I was due with a third child on April 4th, 2013. On September 18, 2012, that pregnancy ended in a lot of heartache. Each year, I feel a weight on my shoulders on that day. I am sad for all of the dreams that never came to pass. I will never see that child grow, learn, get married, have children, etc. That brings a certain amount of pain.
However, I have always held tight to the hope that Christ offers. I will see that child one day in heaven. What a glorious reunion it will be!!
Yesterday, Chloe found a yellow stuffed dog. She asked me whose puppy it was. I told her that she has a brother or sister in heaven, and I had bought that dog for them.
Chloe has been asking a lot of questions about heaven since around October of last year. Last night was no different. She started asking a lot of questions; questions about heaven and Jesus and Him dying on the cross. We had a long conversation about it all. She understands. She knows that she is a sinner (we all are). She knows that Jesus died on the cross so that she could go to Heaven one day (He died for us all and wants to offer that gift to all of us). She understands it all. She was super distracted by her little sisters and what they were doing. So, I prayed for her.
Scott came home from a staff meeting and I told him what Chloe and I had been talking about. I took Addi and Harper into Harper’s bedroom and read several books to them while Scott and Chloe talked; especially since we were nearing bed time and those two needed to calm down! haha!
After a little while, Chloe came into the room and listened to the story I was reading. When I finished, she climbed into my lap and hugged me. She told me, “I have Jesus in my heart.”
I have prayed that Chloe would accept Christ since I found out that I was pregnant. I pray that for all of my children. My nieces and nephews. My friends’ children. Chloe has had such an understanding mind, and has asked questions that blow me away so often. I have never once wanted to pressure her into praying a prayer. After all, the prayer does not save you. God knows your heart. He knows it all. He knows my baby girl more than I ever could.
While yesterday started off on a rotten foot, and I struggled all throughout that day for many reasons, I could not have asked for a better ending! Take that, Monday!