A few days ago, I took the big girls out while Harper napped. Chloe is obsessed with fairies. She and I started gathering up items to make a fairy garden; something she has wanted to do for quite a while. We gathered some acorn tops to make a pathway. Do you see it?
She had a hard time seeing it even though she built it. She ended up surrounding it with bright rocks so that it could be seen more.
I feel like that is a lot how life is. We are often just taking blind steps of faith. We can’t see the next step in front of us. If we keep searching for it in our own power, we are going to end up exhausted, and probably taking a few missteps along the way.
Life is hard and it always feels so uncertain. I always feel like the rug could be ripped out from under me at any moment. I walk around straining to find my next step; where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. Am I making the right choices for my family? I could list all of the things that I worry about in my mind and doubt myself on, but the list may never end.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.”
Psalm 119:105 (ESV)
If we just dig in deep to God’s word, He will lead us. God’s word is like those bright white stones that Chloe surrounded her acorn path with. His word leads and guides us through the darkness. He promises that He will never leave or forsake us, so why do we doubt? Why do we worry?
Even if the steps we take are a little unsteady, we are taking them in faith. The last year has really stretched and grown our faith. I really am a big fan of reflecting. I like to look back and see what all God has done. A year ago at this time, we were down to the wire. Scott had approx. 3 1/2 weeks left of a paycheck, and then it was all unknown. We knew we wouldn’t be staying where we were. I know I have talked about this a lot lately, but it profoundly impacted my life. God will take your mess and use it for a message.
(I want to make something clear, so no one thinks badly of where we were. We lived in a parsonage, and we were told we could stay as long as we needed to. They absolutely were not kicking us out on the streets. Finances were just not there to continue paying a salary for a youth pastor. That’s all. Without any income, and living in a place where finding a job was not easy, we knew we had to leave. It was best for everyone.)
We had plans in place to move in with my family if it came to that, and honestly, I started packing for that. I was trying to prepare myself for time away from ministry; the only thing I had known for the past almost 7 years.
Isn’t that the most amazing phrase in the Bible? It is always some terrible statement followed by “but, God..” We had no idea where our lives were heading, but God did!! But, God swooped in and provided. He not only a job for my husband, but one where he could continue to serve Him in full time ministry. Ministry is so much more than an income. No one goes into ministry for the paycheck. No. One.
God has shown that if I continue taking my next step in obedience to Him, it will all work out. Yes, there will be bumps and bruises. Yes, it will be painful. Growth always is. But, growth is essential. If you are’t growing, you are becoming stagnant.
I want to always be growing. I am not the same person that I was when we first started in ministry. I would never want to be. I entered into it blindly; not fully knowing what to expect. I know I made some mistakes, and still do. I just keep taking steps of obedience.
Are you struggling to see the next step that God has for you? Dig into His word. Seek him in prayer. He will reveal it.
Are you afraid to take that step because it is scary? Even if you are a little shaky, keep going.