Is anyone else late everywhere they go? I have NEVER been this person until recently. We are battling our children to get out the door. “You can’t wear flip flops, it’s cold outside.” “You need to wear leggings under that skirt, it’s cold outside.” “Harper, YOU HAVE TO WEAR A COAT TO THE CAR!” It goes on and on. I hate being late. It’s so disrespectful to everyone that is left waiting for you.
Our family is still fighting colds or some kind of allergies straight from Satan himself. Scott had a super sore throat yesterday and has been coughing like crazy. All of the girls have nasty noses. Mama is finally on the upswing other than the cough that never leaves. I still have been avoiding shaking anyone’s hand just in case I can pass something to them.
Yesterday, our pastor’s sermon was on contentment. Just hearing that word convicts me. I have been one angry person. I have been holding on to anger… anger over the way I have had to watch my husband be treated. Anger over my father-in-law passing away. Anger that I felt like God had abandoned us. Anger everywhere. Anger for things that I don’t share here. I haven’t been depressed.. I have been downright angry. That is a miserable place to be for everyone who has to come into contact me.
He asked us the question “What will be enough?” He told us to fill in the blank. “I will be happy when _____________” Everyone will answer that question differently. I challenge you to ask yourself the same question.
I realized that I needed to let go of all of the negative feelings that I have had this year. These trials have been heaped on my plate and they aren’t going anywhere. I have to deal with them or they are going to sit there and start to rot. It’s not going to be easy. This plate is pretty heavy with all of the stuff I haven’t wanted to face.
I got to test my contentment after church in a small way. I always have a meal ready in the crock pot (or Scott does if I am getting a slow start.. every sunday). I have a new crock-pot that I am still figuring out the groove of. When we got home, our meal was no where near done. I was really frustrated because there wasn’t a back up. We needed to run some errands and everyone was hungry. Scott told me that it was fine.
We packed our family up and went out for Culver’s. I’ll be honest, I dread eating out with my kids because it’s usually chaos, but I’m trying to shift my attitude. We had a lot of fun sitting at that oval table with our kids that don’t understand INSIDE voices. Everyone ate all of their food. We gave Harper some custard, so we will see how her dairy allergy is. (The only way to test with FPIES is to feed her some.) So far so good.
Fun fact: This Culver’s is where my first job was. I got to be in the building before it ever opened.
Will you pray for me as I deal with this attitude shift? Contentment is a struggle for me because I am an expert at the comparison game.
Friends, Monday is a great day to make a fresh start.