We often talk about the “mommy wars” as though it is mothers against other mothers in the same phase of life. We often talk as though its the mothers in our playgroups that are judging our every move.
Maybe it’s there, but I don’t personally see or experience that.
I see and experience the world telling me how much I am doing wrong. Older women judging harshly the decisions that I have carefully prayed about and researched for my family. Women who are in no way affected by the decisions that I make as a mother. Men do it, too, but often it’s women.
Becoming a stay-at-home mom? When the pregnancy test became positive, my life was no longer about just me. I had these little humans that depended on me to raise them. I wanted to cherish every second with them, and I am so thankful that I have been able to stay at home with them. It is hard work and exhausting, but it is 100% worth it. No, we don’t have 500 channels that we don’t need. No, we don’t have a second car that is also not needed. We don’t take fancy vacations or have the latest and greatest. To me, none of that matters. The people in my home matter more than anything else. God chose me to be their mother, and I can’t imagine a better job.
Our decision to homeschool our daughters? The assumption is that I am not actually educating them or teaching them how to be strong young women. The assumption is that they will turn out weird and unable to function in the real world. To be honest, I don’t care in the slightest if they turn out a little weird. As long as they aren’t cruel, I will take weird and unique any day.
What people fail to see is that the moment I found out that I was going to be a mother, I started praying about how we would educate our children. I weighed every option and carefully chose what we were going to do. I researched curriculum and found what would be best. I’ve been able to meet the needs of my child with dyslexia without having to fight schools to follow her IEP. We prayerfully approach homeschooling each and every year. One day God may call us away from it, but for now it is right. It is HIS will for US. More than that, I don’t owe an explanation to anyone.
Here’s the thing. YOU are your child’s mother. No one else. No one gets to tell you how to raise them. No one gets to make those choices for you. God knew that you were the mama your babies needed, and that is all that matters. There is so much freedom when you decide to stop worrying about what others think. If the people in your circle can’t support and love you with the decisions you make, then they don’t deserve a seat at your table.
Resolve this year to no longer allow the negative voices to affect your motherhood. Resolve to not allow negativity into places of your life where it doesn’t belong. Resolve to no longer apologize for doing what you know is right.
Unapologetic motherhood is my goal.