Exploring the mitten.

We explored again yesterday, only this time we brought Daddy. It wasn’t really exploration for us girls, since we had seen it already, but it ws so much better having Scott along. The girls had so much fun. We didn’t pack swimsuits because the forecast SAID that it would reach 80 something by 8 AM and then cool off to around 60 by the afternoon. LIES. So many lies. It stayed HOT the whole time. Which is great when you were wanting some “summer” fun. We packed a picnic lunch to eat before releasing the minions to play on the huge playground. I hope to have MANY more days like this over the summer..and our life. What good is life if you aren’t LIVING it?!

We also explored the historic district again and drooled over the pretty old homes. We found a small one tucked in the midst of all of these massive ones. Scott and I joked that we could move in there and just bask in the glory of the fancy homes around us. Not that this small home was ugly. It was just as pretty, but much more humble. 😉

Good Today

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So, Yesterday was terrible the worst day in a long time. Words don’t do it justice. I woke up this morning and didn’t even get dressed. I only do that if I am puking. I always put REAL clothes on first thing in the morning. I was just prepared to sulk about yesterday. Now, I’m not talking “the kids weren’t cooperating, someone was mean” bad day. I am talking “someone I love tried to take their own life” bad day. (Loved one was unsuccessful and as of now is physically going to be ok.)

HOWEVER, Today is not yesterday. Today is not bad. I woke up and saw this picture first thing on facebook. It is my mom’s birthday. It is sunny for the first time in quite a while. Yesterday was bad, but it is a good today. I had to purpose in my heart to not let yesterday get to me, and start fresh. I still haven’t put real clothes on yet. But, I immediately started getting dishes done and straightening up our house. I feel better when there is less clutter. I sat on the floor and folded laundry while Harper threw it everywhere. HAHA!! I called my mom and tried to have the girls sing Happy Birthday. Chickens. They got nervous and only one of them even told her Happy Birthday.

I need to have this attitude more often. I let the worries of life weigh me down. I let it all get to me, and I carry it around with me everywhere I go. THIS IS NOT MY LOAD TO CARRY!!!! God wants me to pour out my words to Him. He wants me to give it all to Him so He can carry it. I am not in this alone.

This life is so darn beautiful. I just have to open my eyes and see it.

Today

My dad is traveling to STL to begin his proton radiation to fight prostate cancer. It has not spread. In fact, a lot of it was taken out with the biopsies that he had done. This treatment is the best option for him with his history of heart disease and stroke. It is a big deal, but it’s not the worst.. God has it under control.

……

And yet, here I sit fighting to hold it together. I picked up my phone to send my dad a quick text message telling him that I am praying for him and love him. He was working this morning, and may be traveling right now, so a quick text is best.

I don’t know. I guess reality just hit. My. Dad. Has. Cancer. CANCER. Stupid flipping cancer that is always ruining lives.

Today isn’t really the start of another battle for him. He has been battling since he found out, which was months ago.

Living so far away from family and never seeing them is hard. My mom’s birthday is this week and she will be alone. I hate that. I just want to get in the car and go see her. I want to hug her. I want to hug my dad.

Please, pray for our family. My dad especially, because he has been through so much. We have walked along side him cheering him on and picking up whatever weapons we can to help him fight. I think that we are all feeling weary from it. But, especially him.

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day. It is a day to remember those men and women who have sacrificed their lives to keep our great nation FREE.

Thank you, to everyone who has served. Today is to remember those who have fallen. But, I also want those who are WILLING to give their lives to know how thankful that I am for them as well.

It is because of them that I was able to go to the church of my choice yesterday. It is because of them that I was able to enjoy a picnic on my living room floor with my family this afternoon. It is because of them that I was able to go to the store without fear.

Thank you.

“God bless America,
Land that I love,
Stand beside her and guide her
Thru the night with a light from above;

From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans white with foam,
God bless America,
My home, sweet home.
God bless America,
My home, sweet home.”
Irving Berlin

Safe Harbor.

WE HAVE PAINT!! I love the way that the color turned out. It is called Safe Harbor by Olympic.

That screen door is so ugly though.. and broken, so I am thinking of seeing if Scott will just take it off. I know that we need to weedeat around the house. My husband works a lot, and I would most likely cut my foot off.. I also have a pretty flag to hang up and fly proudly from our porch. I just need to get a bigger mount. I bought a cheap flag a couple of years ago, and the pole bent on a windy day. We get a lot of wind here..

I have half of the container of paint left. I am thinking of using it on the peak at the top of the porch. We just need to power wash the old gross paint off of it. Would that look weird? It couldn’t look worse than the chipping paint I suppose.

This house really is cute, and I wish that it had been taken care of better. I am not a huge fan of it, but it is ours.. so I am going to love on it and make it our own while we are here. It’s about time, huh?

A visual

Here is a visual for you to hold on to. This is what we are working with. The door was a scratched and stained up gross tan before I put the primer on it. This is also not the main door we use. We go through the back of the house, so this side is usually an afterthought. Every time I get the mail I am reminded of how bad it looks..

It’s just…

There is a lot of potential. I am hoping to transform it.

Curb Appeal

I primed our front door! AHHHHH!!!! I just have to go buy paint now and our door will be painted! Too much excitement!!

Also, over the weekend we had an egress window put into our basement. There were a bunch of brick-like things left over that I MAY get to use to put a garden in the front of our house also! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I honestly despise this house. I try so hard to just be grateful for the roof over our heads, because I know how richly blessed that we are. But, it is truly a struggle because this house is just not functional for a family of five. We are constantly tripping over each other. It’s very, VERY small, and everyone and their mom from the church has lived in it at some point, so they all have opinions on it. **I want to note that none of them were in this house with THREE little ones!**

Anyway, I have been saying how we can’t change it. We ARE in this house with no other options, so we might as well do our best to make it a place that we love to be. I really hope to put a garden in and just enjoy seeing the flowers grow. Scott is planning to rebuild this old wheelbarrow that we had in the “back” yard. It literally fell apart and he just had to hit the pieces with a hammer and they practically disintegrated. I loved it. It had so much character, but it just wasn’t taken care of and was falling apart when we moved in 3 1/2 years ago.

I will take some “before” pictures of the front of the house and share them. Hopefully, we will have some beautiful “after” photos to post later!! The door already looks a million times better with the white primer on it. It was this old dinged up tanish (maybe just really stained white?) color.

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All of this inspiration came from the book “Love the Home You Have” by Melissa Michaels. The book itself is beautiful, and I am only into the second chapter. But, I love it. I have always loved interior design and even went to school for it. I realized that I was never going to get to have a career in it being a ministry wife, so I switched majors, but I LOVED the classes that I took. I learned a lot from them.

This post is getting random and wild. Check the book out. I can’t wait to read her others. You should also check out her blog, “The Inspired Room” if you love houses like I do. I love to see how people decorate. Go check it out.

Four Arrows Farm

Rolling out the new name. I wrote down all of my favorites last week and really thought and prayed about them.. What is the purpose of this blog? I dunno! HA! I hope that it can be a place of encouragement and laughter. I want it to be a place of reality as well. It is hard for me to be real in person. I can smile and pretend that things are just fine in person. I feel like in the blog world, I can write out my feelings much better. I can delete and think much more before hitting “publish”. Anyway, all of those factors were put into the name. Most of all, this is a mommy blog. I am a mommy. I love being mommy.. most days. 😉

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children[a] of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”

Psalm 127:3-5 (ESV)

I love arrows. I think that they are amazing.. so many designs, colors, etc. If I were to get a tattoo, it would be of four arrows. (I’m not getting one.. don’t worry.) I am the mother of FOUR blessings. It may not look the way I hoped, but I do have four babies. I just never got to meet one of them on this earth, but that does not take away from the fact that he or she IS STILL my child, and the love I have for that baby is strong. My love for all of my arrows is fierce.

For the record, I wanted just Four Arrows, but someone took it already. So, we keep our farm. It feels messy and stinky like a farm in our house… so it works. 😉 Plus, I’d be all over owning some chickens so that we could always have farm fresh eggs!! Bring it on!

What do you think of the new name? I guess it doesn’t matter, because that’s it. 😉

New name

I need a new name for this blog.. I love the name, but don’t want our last name floating around. There are a lot of scary people out there. There are a lot of people in our area getting murdered because of craigslist meet-ups, etc. I just want to keep my family safe.

So, stay tuned for a new title..when I can think of a good one.

My strength

I feel like all I do on here is share quotes and talk about my health or my kids’ health or my family’s health. These are all of the things consuming my life. They are front and center every day here. We are constantly worrying about “diet” and what is safe and healthy to eat. What is going to keep someone from getting sick.. not not just a sniffly cold.. but potentially lead to life threatening reactions. We are still waiting on the phone to ring with an allergist appointment. We are still waiting for the endocrinologist to call with results so that I can move on to the next step. COME ON PHONE!! RING!!!!!!

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I can’t say that I am thankful yet. I really can’t. IN all things give thanks.. (1 Thess. 5:18) I can’t say that I am thankful FOR what is happening. It is like trying to walk through water with the current against you. We are trudging along figuring out how to live with what we have been dealt. Unfortunately, my diseases and Harper’s food allergy will never “pass”. Harper may outgrow her food allergies, and I PRAY that she does. My diseases are for life. We can’t ever really get to a point where we can say that it is behind us. We can get to a point where we can manage it all. WE WILL get to a point where we feel “normal” again. I believe that.

I know that God has a plan in all of this. I am praying that I will be able to help someone who starts down a similar journey. I pray that God gives me the strength to survive this (NO, it’s not going to kill me.. but I feel like it will). I pray that I find my true strength and use all of this for HIS glory.

I pray that I can find myself again. I feel like Ashley has gotten lost somewhere along the way, and I want her to come back. She is going to look different. She is going to be different. But, she will be strong.