family life, Uncategorized

Big Dreams

img_0967

If you have been around here for a while, you know that Scott and I dream of one day owning a homestead. It feels like such a far off and impossible dream because of our current circumstances.

I’m going to take you back to late November/ early December. I was working at the library and chatting with one of our patrons. She mentioned that her husband was a farmer. In our talking I mentioned our dream of living on a farm. Her eyes got really big and she told me about a house that they own and rent. They don’t list it as for rent because they don’t want just anyone moving in, but the tenants had just moved out and the house is empty. She told me that if we’d really be interested to drive out and check it out some time. Scott and I drove by, and loved it. But, figured it would be way out of our budget and didn’t really do anything more.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a really rotten day. I was discouraged and going to take a ton of bags of clothes and toys to donate just to get out of the house. Instead, I turned the opposite direction. I drove up to this beautiful farm house and walked around the property. I had permission to do this, so don’t get upset about it.

img_0999

I walked around and just stood in awe. I have always loved old farm houses. My family used to go riding around a lot when I was a kid. I used to love seeing the farm houses. My mom and I would get sad any time we’d drive by an abandoned one thinking about all of the memories that the house held. Anyway, I was walked back to my car when a truck came down the road and pulled in. It was the farmer himself. I told him who I was and what I was doing there so that he didn’t think I had vandalized his property or anything. His kind face lit up and asked if I wanted to see the inside.

You guys. I was literally fighting tears the whole time. He showed me each room. The house was built around 1860. He build on the front room himself, and put up some walls to make bedrooms in the upstairs. It had all been one big room before. When we were walking back to the door, he asked me what I thought of it. I told him that it was so beautiful, but I didn’t know if it was something we could afford. He told me what he charges for rent. I. Cannot. Handle. It. It’s so low, and he doesn’t feel right raising it even after I told him what most people charge for rent in our town. He was disgusted by that.

I called Scott and fought blubbering like a baby. What are the chances of bumping into this woman and the conversation happening? What are the chances of him just happening to show up to the house while I am there? What are the chances that the rent is going to allow us to live within our means and help us get out of debt? WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?!

Scott talked to the farmer on the phone last night, and as long as there aren’t any major repairs that he doesn’t want to pay to fix, we will be moving in some time this year! There’s not an exact time frame, since he hasn’t looked at the house closely yet. March at the earliest. The farmer said that he had thought about just tearing the house down at one point, but the house is still in such good shape.img_0933

The house sits on his farm land, so it surrounded by corn/soybean fields and has several large pole barns that house his equipment. It will be loud during planting and harvesting season, I am sure. But, what an incredible thing for the kids to witness. There is a chicken coop by the house. We are planning some raised beds to plant vegetables.

I am speaking this while it is still very early. Something could happen that could cause it all to come crashing down. I know this. We were planning raised beds in the house we currently live in anyway, so we will be planting here or there in the Spring.

On Sunday night, our pastor was talking about prayer and being faithful. He said that so often we expect God to say yes that when he says no, we don’t know what to do with ourselves. (So, remain faithful in those no times.) This is going to sound pessimistic, and show the tole the past several years have taken on my heart. But, I truly have reached the point where I am saying that I don’t know what to do if God says YES to this. I know. That’s terrible. So, I am writing this post and sharing with the world. Will you pray for this situation. I am prepared for something to cause this to not happen. I know that if it falls through, God will have a reason. But, I am praying that it all goes smoothly.

I am so excited and really feel so honored that I got to look at this beautiful home and hear about the history of it. That alone was such a gift. I pray that we get to call this place home. But if not, God is still good.

Advertisements
family life, homeschool, Uncategorized

Unapologetic Motherhood

mothered

We often talk about the “mommy wars” as though it is mothers against other mothers in the same phase of life. We often talk as though its the mothers in our playgroups that are judging our every move.

Maybe it’s there, but I don’t personally see or experience that.

I see and experience the world telling me how much I am doing wrong. Older women judging harshly the decisions that I have carefully prayed about and researched for my family. Women who are in no way affected by the decisions that I make as a mother. Men do it, too, but often it’s women.

Becoming a stay-at-home mom? When the pregnancy test became positive, my life was no longer about just me. I had these little humans that depended on me to raise them. I wanted to cherish every second with them, and I am so thankful that I have been able to stay at home with them. It is hard work and exhausting, but it is 100% worth it. No, we don’t have 500 channels that we don’t need. No, we don’t have a second car that is also not needed. We don’t take fancy vacations or have the latest and greatest. To me, none of that matters. The people in my home matter more than anything else. God chose me to be their mother, and I can’t imagine a better job.

Our decision to homeschool our daughters? The assumption is that I am not actually educating them or teaching them how to be strong young women. The assumption is that they will turn out weird and unable to function in the real world. To be honest, I don’t care in the slightest if they turn out a little weird. As long as they aren’t cruel, I will take weird and unique any day.

What people fail to see is that the moment I found out that I was going to be a mother, I started praying about how we would educate our children. I weighed every option and carefully chose what we were going to do. I researched curriculum and found what would be best. I’ve been able to meet the needs of my child with dyslexia without having to fight schools to follow her IEP. We prayerfully approach homeschooling each and every year. One day God may call us away from it, but for now it is right. It is HIS will for US. More than that, I don’t owe an explanation to anyone.

 

Here’s the thing. YOU are your child’s mother. No one else. No one gets to tell you how to raise them. No one gets to make those choices for you. God knew that you were the mama your babies needed, and that is all that matters. There is so much freedom when you decide to stop worrying about what others think. If the people in your circle can’t support and love you with the decisions you make, then they don’t deserve a seat at your table.

Resolve this year to no longer allow the negative voices to affect your motherhood. Resolve to not allow negativity into places of your life where it doesn’t belong. Resolve to no longer apologize for doing what you know is right.

Unapologetic motherhood is my goal.